Medley

Wow finally a proper post after what seems like forever.

School's been really busy that time for anything else other than homework is not granted. Not new to anything since it has been this hectic since the first semester but somehow or rather it feels so much worser this time. I can go on and on about how work load is suffocating me but since i'm still here and all's well, i shall give that a miss.

We're 4 months into a new year already, not too late to realize how fast time flies. Life's been pretty decent the past months i guess i don't have rights to ask for more.

January was really tough with starting a new school term and everything else that came crashing down on me. I often question if i'm not good enough for anyone, since no matter how hard i try things just have to come to an end. Looking back to the whole of 2011, i've had really fun and happy times, times i wished i would relived again. But i guess when some things don't work out you just have to let it go

Whole of my february and almost half of march was spent just living in denial. I know no matter how bad things escalated to, we cannot escape from heart ache. The idea of departure is always just this upsetting

But i am thankful for this heart ache

The desperate need to get things off my mind led me to joining Hom Yoga. First try made me want to continue going back. The place, the people, the activity- everything else there just feels so nice. An hour there makes me feel like i've been freed from whatever negative vibes i want to chase away. Talking about Hom i haven't been going there for about 2 weeks now bcuz of the countless deadlines and submissions and what not. But in a month or less i will dedicate all my time for that

End of march i decided that feeling this way is not going to get me anywhere. We all have to strive to be better, not bitter. Thank god for my mates and other people who care enough to be listening to whatever rants i have, and even though they might not offer helpful advices, im just glad they gave me their ears

You know how sometimes when the people you lost comes back, you don't know if it's a yay or nay? Since if they left once, they will leave again. But yes everyone deserves a second chance

Mak came back after being away for a year. I have to admit that no one is as witty and wise as him, and despite the 6 years age gap between us, the comfortability is still present. I'm thankful that no matter how clouded it gets up in my head, he has his ways of getting me back on track. This is the kind of friendship anyone would desire. Having a 'big bro' actually really feels nice

This friend of 6 years came back around too. Funny how the years apart didn't really do us any damage, instead, to see how much both of us have grown over the years warms the heart. Caught up over Starbucks somewhere in April and to hear how everyone around us have changed actually just makes me realize that the decisions you make in life really determines what kinda person you are

And i'm really glad that i am who i am today.

On nights i can't fall asleep my mind wanders everywhere and then i question if letting people back is worth it or not. If it works out then yes you get to keep them, and if it doesn't then dealing with departure for the second time actually isn't as easy. Right now i just hope that whoever i let back in will not disappoint

If you ask me what's been on my mind, i would honestly say just patches of empty clouds. I just wish people would fill them up in the way i want them to, since time to stop doing so much for others should be now

Love yourself tiny, before others can love you.