Still you

Three months have passed us by.

I've got so much on my mind to say but I dare not, every night I go on whatsapp and tell myself if I see your status 'online' it means fate allows me to talk to you

But I type a whole chunk and then I erase them all again. 

I don't have the courage. I am not brave enough to let you know how damn fucking much I miss you because so what if I do? It doesn't change anything does it? 

But bing I miss you so much.. So much it hurts me everyday 

When night falls and I tuck myself in bed, I think about all the things that happened too fast for us to get a grip 

Everyone says we're so loving// they asked what happened? Why the sudden separation?// it makes me so sad 

Ever since the day we decided to let things go, I haven't really done exactly that. I still wish to come home to you everyday 

Grad night I was so happy, I thought you will be there. When I got your text I was even happier because you remembered my big day, but then my mood just fell because you couldn't make it. But I understand it's work, and we all have priorities. My classmates didn't know we broke up; they asked me 'where's bing why isn't he coming?' Idk what to say so I just smiled and say work's eating you up. But who knows it's killing me inside 

Every night for the past 3 months I still wish it was you. I wish the person you wake up to is me and the one I accomplish things with is you 

I miss you so much my little bing :'( 

I am so sad. I know whatever I say now will not bring you back. I am not happier and I dont care what you think about me hanging out with other guys because at the end of the day, it's stil you

It has always been you since the day I said yes, yes I will be your girlfriend. 

Remember we say to have our little family after 3 years of dating? To get our first car at 25? To aim to live at keppel bay?

Remember how we made museo our favorite place? And say to always frequent this place because it's so beautiful? 

I remember so much even until now. Today a lady wearing your perfume got on the bus.. That made me miss you even more. Everything I see or do or smell brings me back to us

It's so easy to want to slip back into comfort.... But I know I don't deserve you anymore 

I don't wanna love another person because nothing feels as good as loving you 

I miss you so much idk what else to do anymore 

Somedays I just really want to wait for you below your block and run into your arms but I know that's crazy because you'll prolly just chase me away 

And nothing hurts more than that..  

I wish you knew how much everything is killing me because we are so near yet so far.. Because we gave up when there is still love.. It's all my fault 

I know when things are broken it'll never feel the same again. But I am always ready to give it a second try.. Anything for you is worth it 

Today I will tell you this: 

And that is, I will never love someone until you come back to me again. I will always be standing here waiting for you to be ready to love me, no matter how long it takes 

It will always be you that is in my heart// no matter where I go, or what I do, it is still you 

The only courage I have left is to dedicate this post to you. I know it means nothing much but at least you know how I feel about you even until today.. 

I need you to know how fucking much I miss you bing I'm not even kidding 

We made a pact to meet on 19th October 2014. Is it still on? 

I will look forward to that day everyday from now till it comes. I will not lose hope because you say I should fight for the things I want 

And I will fight for you. Just that this time, I will do it quietly. I will love you from a distance because that's the best I can do 

I miss you and i know the day we make up will come. 

Takecare meanwhile and just so you know, whatever happens you'll always have me here. 

Somethings never change.. I still love you and I will love you for a really long time. 

See you on 19th October my love. 

We'll make it, time will tell.

:') <3