Lots of love

Tonight is a confession night.

I feel I haven't been rly honest about myself and everything else ever since the start of the year. I've been living in denial for months and I guess the time to man up is now 

No I will not deny how upset I've been for a long time after whatever happened. But I got better. I just didn't rly wanna accept the fact that I am better. I drowned myself in self pity thinking that getting over whatever and moving forward is not possible. But I've already moved far beyond that 

And I did for a more than anyone else realized 

I found out that I can be good on my own too. But then again, I am never really on my own. Great mates here and there and of course, guys who wanted to go after me the past months. 

And I think I have to emphasize that the more they try to act all big shot and control me in whatever I do when they are of no status just makes me cringe. Honestly just shoo. Who are you anyway 

Bcuz of that I shun away from many of them. And I don't feel bad at all bcuz well, first I don't like you, second you are not my bf, and third who do you think you are to get jealous over whoever I talk to 

Go away eew

And then this person came along. All nice and sincere and everything. 

I wanted to do this post bcuz prior to it, tonight I got confessed to. 

To be my doctor when I'm ill. To be my hands to hold when I feel scared. To be everything I need in my life to feel more complete than everybody else

On top of that comes a hand written card. And a box of flowers made with tape. So much sincerity and love, time and affection. 

But I still let people down. I am such an awful person. 

I feel bad. But I know honesty will always remain the best policy. 

And then again, whoever loves you will not give up on you, ever 

I am upset with myself bcuz I bring upon sadness to another. But I know we will all be fine and even better. 

We will go far. Maybe just not now